Originally written on March 7, 2023:
It’s funny how the spiritual path progresses, shifts, and changes. It’s also funny how I can simultaneously feel like I know so much, and yet so little. Where we currently are consciously, we are at our most advanced, wisest, and perhaps most “knowledgable” self; and yet even just a week from now, we will know and have experienced so much more.
When I first started getting into esoteric subjects and spirituality, I could not get enough of books or YouTube videos related to this subject. The best and most enjoyable way for me to spend my time was to read and watch things in order to learn all that I possibly could. I really love to learn in general, and I had, and have, an insatiable desire to learn. I loved it so much. Come 2021, I had an experience that really shifted this for me— the seeking and acquiring knowledge outside of myself, to instead shifting within. Perhaps everyone, or most, go though the stage where you think others, such as spiritual masters, gurus, or psychics (etc.), might be a step “above” you, or know more than you. In retrospect, while I do think everyone has something to teach us, it is risky to believe that someone with a specific label has more wisdom than we inherently do within, or that they know more about us and our own life than we do ourselves.
No matter how much we read, listen, or watch, life experience really is the ultimate teacher. Others viewpoints and lessons can offer great clues into universal knowledge, but it is when we actually experience something firsthand for ourselves that we really understand it. It's like when a parent tries to lecture you on what you shouldn’t do to try to prevent you from experiencing harm. But firsthand experience really is the best teacher-- otherwise, we are left relying on others’ experience and viewpoints from what they dealt with firsthand. And if this is all the case, is it actually helpful to teach others esoteric things? If we do have all the answers within, do we really need to hear or learn anything of that nature from anyone else?
An example of this is being told, and perhaps inherently knowing, that all things change-- that all is temporary. We know this, and yet, when things do change, it can be really difficult and shocking. We know people may leave our lives, we know death happens to all things; and yet, when it does happen, it catches us by surprise— because even though we know it’s bound to happen someday, that someday seems very far off and illusory.
It is in these shifting times and moments of change that presence and gratitude become really important, and they come to the forefront of one's awareness; this is something life has taught me experientially. When you feel like something in your life is about to change or leave, you begin to be more present with it, and appreciate it more than ever. You want to remember and cherish things for the way you have known them to be-- from an experience, to a person or being.
What's changing in my life? What don't I want to change? What can I cherish even more? What can I start to let go of, to allow more space for newness to enter? What am I afraid to let go of? What can I allow life to teach me? What can I do right now to be more present with where I am at?
